


redefine

by boadiceas



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Canon Aromantic Character, Canon Compliant, Canon Non-Binary Character, Coming Out, Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-15
Updated: 2016-07-15
Packaged: 2018-07-24 03:16:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,163
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7491252
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/boadiceas/pseuds/boadiceas
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>"What the fuck was that?" Louis asks, watching as the paps get farther away from them. He pulls his iPhone out of his pocket and quickly opens Twitter, expecting things to be normal as usual. His mouth drops open when he sees his timeline.  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>"What?" Harry asks, gaze shifting from Louis' expression to the highway. "Louis, what?" He repeats.  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>"I think they found out..." Louis says slowly. He opens the trending topics on Twitter and laughs, caught by surprise, when he sees his name at the top of the list.</i>
</p><p>Or, a canon fic where Louis is non-binary and comes out to the whole world. It's a bigger deal than Louis thought it would be, apparently.</p>
            </blockquote>





	redefine

**Author's Note:**

  * For [louissass](https://archiveofourown.org/users/louissass/gifts).



> Hi louissass! 
> 
> This was so fun to write and I really hope you enjoy it. I'd like to note that there are three major things in this fic that would be considered canon divergence i.e., no beards or stunts, Harry and Louis are out early in their career, and Zayn never left the band. Other than those things, I tried to keep everything else canon compliant.
> 
> A very special thank you to my beta, Wendy. This work is completely fictional and doesn't reflect any of the characters in reality, and it's not intended to offend anyone.
> 
> Sidenote: the article Louis reads in this fic is real and it can be read [here.](https://www.buzzfeed.com/jimwaterson/this-student-just-came-out-as-non-binary-to-barack-obama?utm_term=.gmYeOdlwZ#.ai78dvpGz)

It's nearly midnight and Harry is asleep on top of his chest when Louis sees it.  

The only light in the bedroom comes from the brightness of his iPhone screen as he squints and blinks, immediately assuming that he's read the headline wrong. It must be wrong because he's never seen that word in an article on his Facebook news feed before. He holds the phone above Harry's head, careful not to drop it on his boyfriend out of uncertainty, and clicks the link. 

 _This Student Just Came Out As Non-Binary To The World In Front Of Barack Obama_  

 _Article by_ _Jim Waterson, BuzzFeed News Reporter, UK_  

Okay, so he didn't read it wrong. For a second, he thought his eyesight had finally gone to shit and he'd need to go to an eye doctor. Now that he's processed what he's just read, he scrolls down and begins to read eagerly.  

_A student came out as non-binary to Barack Obama in central London on Saturday morning and urged the US president to do more to help transgender people around the world._

_Maria Munir, whose parents did not know about the 20-year-old’s gender identity, stood up at a town hall Q &A hosted by Obama for young people and publicly declared for the first time they identified as a non-binary individual. Non-binary identities are those that do not fit within the binary of male or female._ 

 _"_ _I’m about to do something terrifying, which is I’m coming out to you as a non-binary person, which means that I don’t fit because I’m from a Pakistani-Muslim background which inevitably has complications,” the student said, fighting back tears._  

Louis can almost sense the familiar fear in his gut, the feeling that comes with being surrounded by so many people and revealing something that can be easily scrutinized. He remembers when he was seventeen and came out to his best friend, Stan, telling him that he might like boys. Stan had simply smiled and said he wasn't surprised, and that he didn't mind who he liked as long as they weren't a bad person. A year later, he told his mum since it was killing him to lie to her about his love life or girlfriends that happened to be boyfriends, and she had rolled her eyes and huffed, "Louis, I know. I knew from the moment you were little and asked me if you could marry David Beckham. And I never asked about _girlfriends_ specifically, mind you, because I've never seen you bring a girl into this house."  

Louis had blushed a deep red and hugged her harder than he'd ever hugged anyone before. Then, a couple of months later, his entire life had changed when he auditioned for X-Factor and made it through with several other contestants. Simon Cowell had formed him and four other boys into a group called One Direction, and Louis decided right at that moment that he wasn't going to lie to anyone else about who he was.  

Sitting with Simon, his family, the other boys and their families, and Modest! Management had him sweating like he'd ran twenty marathons. But he wasn't afraid. He wasn't afraid as they all read over contracts and signed papers, the management team explaining things to them in incredible detail so they all understood what would be expected of them for the next five years. They would produce several albums and go on a couple of tours, and their team would promote their music in America and across the UK. They would be required to come into the studio often and work with producers, making music that was catered to themselves and also a wider audience. Louis listened intently and only cleared his throat when the PR representative, Kate, began to speak.  

Simon turned to look at him from across the table, motioning for the strict-looking woman to stop talking for a moment. "Did you want to say something, Louis?" He asked.  

Louis nodded and stood up, feeling like he needed to be standing when he made this statement. It was important and he didn't know how well it would go with the entire team. Luckily, he hadn't signed any important contracts yet so if all went to shit, he could walk right out the door.  

"Um," he began. Fuck, not a great start. His hands trembled slightly and he could feel a bead of sweat on the back of his neck, the sensation bothersome as it traveled down his shirt. He wasn't afraid. Just nervous. Everyone continued to stare at him and as Louis looked around the room, his eyes landed on Harry. 

Harry gave him a small smile, nodding in encouragement for Louis to speak. He didn't look scared at all, and actually, he looked really happy for what he knew Louis was about to say. Harry was the first person in the band he had come out to and Louis had felt obligated to tell the boy because one, he had promised himself he was going to be honest from now on. Two, he was probably going to be working with Harry for a couple of years if everything went well, and three, Harry happened to be ridiculously cute.  

Almost instinctively, Louis returned a shy smile before turning his gaze back to everyone at the table. He looked at Simon and took a deep breath before he announced, "I wanted to tell everyone here that I'm gay. So, if that's something that will conflict with the music we produce or what the team wants, then I can't be in. Because I won't hide it from anyone."  

There was silence as everyone stared at him. He could feel his mum's intense gaze as she stared down Simon, Kate, and the rest of the PR team. He quickly added, "Because I'm proud of who I am."  

Louis shifted uncomfortably on his feet, watching as the management team looked between each other and back at him. They looked at the other four boys as well and Louis was surprised when Zayn cleared his throat and spoke. "I'm proud of him, too. I think I speak for all of us when I say I don't want in either if none of us can be our true selves." He looked around at the three boys surrounding him and they all nodded in agreement.  

Anne spoke up next. She wrapped an arm around Harry's shoulder and said, “I want Harry to be happy, and the other boys, too. I strongly believe being happy means being your true self so I'm ready to take my son home if he can’t live his life honestly while he's in your hands.” 

Jay clasped one of Louis’ hands in her own from where she was seated tensely in her chair. All of the boys’ parents looked at Simon. There was complete silence until Simon said, “Of course, of course. What kind of person do you think I am? We all want the boys to be happy while they make music with us, and that includes honesty as an important policy." 

There was a beat and he added, “There _are_ a few things we require to be held back, just to protect our label. But we don’t make any discrimination on sexuality, gender, or religion…it’s all here in the contracts.” He picked up a bigger, unopened folder and handed it to his assistant. The young man walked around the table and began handing out thick stacks of paper to each person.  

Louis sat down hard, feeling like he had barely made it across a railroad while a train was hurtling towards him. That could have turned out a lot worse, he knew. Jay kissed him on the cheek and squeezed his hand one more time before turning towards the papers being placed in front of her.  

While Kate began talking again and told everyone about their strategies for promotion (nothing forceful, most methods involving capitalizing on unique aspects of their groups), Louis snuck a glance over at Harry. The younger boy was focused on a piece of paper in front of him, thick eyebrows furrowed as he struggled to make sense of what the words said. As if sensing Louis’ eyes on him, he looked up and met the other boy’s gaze. He smiled at Louis before scooting closer to Anne. Louis couldn't help but wonder if he was nervous about all of this stuff, too.  

Everyone listened to Simon and his team talk for the entire morning and into the afternoon, only stopping for bathroom breaks and snack runs. By the time the light outside had disappeared and Niall began to complain about being hungry, the management team had in their possession a thick, white envelope that contained signed contracts from each of the boys.  

Everyone went out to have dinner together that night at a fancy restaurant somewhere in London to celebrate. Louis sat next to Harry the entire night, both boys sneaking glances at each other and trying to be discreet about the game of footsie they were playing underneath the table. It was the beginning of an adventure that, for Louis at least, couldn't have topped anything he had ever dreamed of.  

Louis can always feel inklings of nostalgia creeping up on him when he thinks about the past, or about how everything is now. How, for the most part, he's going to find himself in almost the same situation again as he was when he stood in front of Simon and his team.  

Except it's not him and Modest! Management this time. It's him and the world.  

The thing is, Louis has had a lot of time to himself over the past five years. Time set apart from One Direction and touring and making music. He had enough time to figure out that he was in love with Harry and follow those feelings promptly. Somehow, Harry loved him back (although it should've been painfully obvious with the way Harry sat close and smiled warmly at him during that first night at the restaurant). He had enough time to ask the younger boy out on a proper date before One Direction officially debuted their first album.  

Louis didn't say anything as they both strolled through Chelsea Physic Garden, Harry talking softly about the future with a gift bag containing gardening books clutched to his chest. Louis listened patiently and guided Harry down the path, both of them stopping momentarily to admire the flowers.  

"I'm scared, Louis." 

Louis turned his gaze away from the tulip bulbs in front of him to look over at Harry. His face reminded Louis of a statue that they'd walked by only half an hour before after they left the gift shop and entered the garden. The man was made of marble and in one of his outstretched hands, he held what appeared to be roses. In his other hand, he clutched an ornate sword. His gaze was turned upwards, towards the sky, thick eyebrows furrowed and his mouth slightly parted. Louis imagined he could have been asking a question. _Why? Why me?_  

"Of what?" Louis murmured. He stepped closer to Harry and reached for the gift bag, gently taking it from the boy and tucking it under his own arm. Louis caught Harry's hands in his own and smiled when he noticed the younger boy looking down at their joined hands. They had held hands a couple of times since Louis figured out Harry enjoyed being cuddled and held, but it was always when they were watching TV with the rest of the boys or sitting next to each other on their way to the studio. It had never been something intimate like this and Louis had definitely never initiated anything more because he was scared, too. Scared of admitting the immense feelings he had for the gorgeous boy in front of him who's bottom lip quivered when he began to speak. 

"I'm...I don't know what's going to happen. We don't know if the album will do well. We don't know where we'll be in five, ten, fifteen years. What if I disappoint my mum? Gemma? I want this more than anything, Lou..." He gripped Louis' hands tighter and sighed deeply. "I..." 

Louis clasped Harry's right hand in both of his own, rubbing over the soft skin in comfort as Harry kneaded the back of his own neck with his other hand. The boy shook his head and looked down at his sneakers in dismay. "I don't want to lose this."  

"Harry..." Louis whispered. He took Harry's right hand and placed it on his cheek, continuing to caress the warm skin despite the startled look that came into Harry's eyes. Louis had no idea what he was doing but he was determined to rid Harry's face of that concerned look, to soften out the creases on his forehead and bring back the lovely blush his cheeks always held. 

"I can't promise you anything, Harry. I can't see the future," he sighed. "I'm scared, too. Really fucking scared. But..." Louis pressed his cheek into Harry's palm hesitantly, allowing himself to have this moment before it all changed. He needed Harry to know how he felt, right now. No more waiting or tip-toeing around.  

"But I can promise you that I'll be there, no matter what. You'll always have me. I...um,” Louis swallowed hard. _Keep it together._ "I don't want to lose you," he said carefully.  

Louis continued to stare down at his own sneakers, too afraid to look up and see Harry's wide eyes. He gently released the boy's hand, prepared to feel its warmth leave his cheek. Harry had to have figured out how he felt about him by this point. Right?  

When Harry's large hand continued to rest on his face and Louis felt like he was going to go mad if he didn't say something to begin to fix the mess he just made, he finally looked up. Some loose curls shielded Harry's eyes but Louis could see it. He saw the tear traveling down the boy's face and the way his verdant eyes glistened behind his hair. Harry sniffled quietly and stared back without reserve, features unreadable. Louis started to panic. "Harry, I'm -" he began.  

The few words that had managed to escape Louis' mouth dissipated into the fragrant air, forgotten, as Harry lurched forward and kissed him suddenly. The gift big tumbled to the pavement and Louis' hands automatically came to rest on the boy's hips, instinctively holding him in place. It felt as if his entire body was white noise and the only point of contact that made sense, made him feel anchored to anything, was where Harry's supple lips met his.  

The whole world had stopped breathing and taken Louis with it.  

All he could comprehend were the delicate brushes of sweet-smelling curls against his nose, tickling him, and the unyielding warmth of a steady hand against his face. Something was quickly spreading throughout his body. Harry was breathing life back into him, annihilating anything that had foolishly stood before and believed it had a chance. _Bang._ Louis could feel it now. Harry's tender mouth, pulling away for a moment and returning just as swiftly to place gentle kisses along Louis' jaw. _Bang_ _bang_ _bang._ The light brush of a finger caressing underneath his closed eye. _Bang._  

Louis hadn't realized his eyes were closed until he heard a quiet giggle. He wanted to keep them shut and, quite selfishly, feel Harry's mouth on his again. When did he become a selfish person? Harry had already changed him with one kiss, it seemed. Reluctantly, he opened his eyes and smiled easily when he was met with a blushing face.  

"Was that okay?" Harry asked, hesitant.  

Louis gaped. "Was that _okay_?" He repeated. He took Harry's warm hands in his own and shook his head, feigning disappointment. "Harry, that was the worst kiss of my entire life. It was so terrible that I'm going to have to ask you to be my boyfriend so no one else can suffer from your atrocious kissing. I'm a good person like that, you know."  

Harry gawked at him for a moment before he began to laugh loudly. Louis looked around for anyone else in the garden and pulled the boy closer. Harry continued to laugh, using one hand to cover his mouth in a half-arsed attempt. Louis smiled at him.  

"Harry, listen, I know you're disappointed. But we can make this work, alright? I'll teach you some techniques and maybe then we'll work out a different arrangement. It's for the good of the world, mate." Louis simpered, pulling the boy in for an embrace. Harry's laughter died down as he wrapped his arms around Louis' shoulders and wedged his face into the older boy's neck. This was something familiar. Louis was his favorite person to hug because Harry felt so safe. Safe. That word couldn't do any justice for how he felt when Louis was holding him like this.  

"Lou...I'd love to be your boyfriend," he murmured softly. Louis clutched him tighter and whispered, "Yeah?"  

Harry nodded into his neck, smiling. "Yeah." 

Louis buried his face into Harry's curls. He was so relieved and so, so happy. Harry wanted to be his boyfriend. Louis would be _his_ boyfriend. It felt like a dream. They'd been best friends since they met over a year ago and now his best friend would also be his _boyfriend._   

"Louis?"  

Louis hummed and drew away so he could see Harry's face. The younger boy smiled at him shyly and looked down at the ground. Louis continued to hold him by the waist, scared to let go lest Harry turned out to be a hallucination. It was a silly thought because Harry was clearly a real human being, but Louis imagined a situation where he was banned from every public garden in London because he was caught talking to a flower. Harry _did_ look like a flower personified, in Louis' defense. Louis shut his mind off before he could begin to wonder what type of flower Harry would be.  

"About what you said before...I don't want to lose you, either. I know we'll have to tell the rest of the boys and our families, even Kate. Possibly the fans. I don't want them knowing to change anything between us," Harry explained. Louis shook his head as the boy spoke. He wouldn't hide how much he cared for Harry, how much he wanted to see the boy succeed and be happy. Louis would make sure that Harry always felt cared for. 

"It won't. My promise still stands, Harry. You'll always have me. If...if you want me, of course," he added. Louis fixed his fringe out of habit, conscious of the fact that Harry was grinning at him.  

Harry rolled his eyes and exclaimed, “Of course I want you, you twit!" He pecked Louis quickly on the cheek and bent down to pick up his gift bag. Louis touched the spot where Harry had kissed him, unfamiliar with the younger boy acting like an actual _boyfriend._ Louis almost couldn't remember what everything was like beforehand – it felt like him and Harry had always been this way. His stomach fluttered at the realization that some things would be permanently changed from now on.  

On their way out the garden, Harry and Louis passed by the marble statue again. Louis held Harry's hand and led him to it, both of them looking up at the discolored structure. Louis stared at the man's face and suddenly understood that his expression wasn't one of anguish.  

 _Why? Why me?_ He was meant for something. Maybe the man was meant to be a warrior since he had a sword, or someone's lover because of the roses he held. Maybe both. 

"It's nice, isn't it?" Harry wondered quietly. Both boys looked at each other and Louis nodded. He smiled down at their joined hands and squeezed Harry's hand in his. "Let's go home," he murmured.  

They walked out of the garden together, hand in hand, the wind and flowers humming their goodbye. Louis looked back at the statue one more time.  

 _Love will guide you._  

*

Louis considers that day in the garden a sort of quintessence for the person he's culminated into.  

While he had plenty of time to figure out how to be Harry Styles' boyfriend and how to cook Harry's favorite breakfast (he couldn't make chicken stuffed with mozzarella wrapped in parma ham every day), he also spent time figuring himself out.  

Louis had time to enroll in university and take some online classes between breaks. Harry encouraged him since he had the tendency to be a couch potato when the band wasn't in the studio and anyway, he wanted to accomplish something that he probably would have done at some point in his life, fame following him or not. He majored in Gender, Women & Sexuality Studies at the university he was enrolled in. 

He was hesitant to take the classes at first only because it was a bigger deal for him than simply learning about how the world and the people within it functioned. For him, it was also about tapping into a part of his identity that until recently he had kept silent about.  

Louis completed the classes and found certain things being revealed to him and also confirmed again, things that he knew but couldn't put a name to. 

Things such as _gender binary_ and _non-binary_ identities. Since around the time he was seventeen and came out to Stan, he became extremely contemplative of the people he surrounded himself with and the things he was so sure of that made him who he was. Unfortunately, he had a couple of close mates who eventually found out about him being gay and stopped talking to him altogether. Maybe it was something fortunate, actually, if he was being honest with himself. He decided afterwards that he’d only have people in his life that accepted him for who he was, and before he made it through the X-Factor, those people included his family and Stan. 

Five years later, he has worldwide support from One Direction’s fan base. Zayn, Niall, Liam, and Harry stood next to him when things were difficult in the very beginning. Louis would see the homophobic slurs on Twitter and hear the names being shouted at him on the street after their first few shows. He learned to ignore it or fight back when necessary. All of that changed when he and Harry admitted their feelings for each other and decided to make their relationship public. 

Louis didn't care about only himself anymore. He wanted to keep Harry safe since he was coming out also. He vowed to protect Harry and the love they had between them. 

Luckily for them, the world contained more love than hate. The fans and public were overly enthusiastic and Louis didn't worry because multitudes of people supported them. Their families couldn't have become more closer than they were during those early days after being told.  

Louis smiles when he remembers the first interview him and Harry did after the initial articles came out. They had been in Paris to promote their first album and do a couple of interviews as a band while on break from their Up All Night tour. Kate had suggested him and Harry do a separate interview, something low-key, and it couldn't have been mere coincidence that it was arranged on Valentine’s Day.  

Harry was beyond scared. He was having a silent meltdown in the car as their driver took them to the building where an interviewer would indefinitely ask them Modest! Management approved questions about their relationship. Louis felt confident, albeit slightly nervous, about the entire thing. He wanted to hold Harry’s hand proudly in public, to kiss him square on the mouth and make him giggle when they were supposed to be doing something important. Louis wanted to do those things in front of everyone. He needed Harry to feel loved even when they weren't alone. 

Which is why he scooted closer to Harry who was tucked against the opposite side of the car and looking outside solemnly.  

“Harry,” he said softly.  

“Hm?” 

“Y' alright?” Louis asked. 

Harry looked away from the window and down at his hands, folding them in his lap. Louis automatically wrapped an arm around his shoulder and pulled the boy into his chest. Harry went willingly and sighed against Louis’ sweater. He reached up and clutched the material in his left hand, the faint beat of Louis’ heart noticeable underneath his fist. Silence continued to fill the backseat.  

Louis kissed him on the forehead before speaking. “It’ll be okay, love. A couple of questions to answer and I'll answer all of them if you want me to.”  

Harry immediately shook his head at that. “I can…I can answer some. I'm just – I don't know why I'm freaking out, really. It's just so strange,” he looked up at Louis, eyes half covered by his hair, “I never imagined I'd be doing something like this, y’know? It's making a huge difference not just for us.”  

Louis understood. Articles posted on a website or in a newspaper were vastly different than actual words being spoken to a camera or a person. Two boys in a high profile band coming out as a couple would inevitably cause some ripples across mainstream media. It was a good thing they already had a large number of fans who loved them together and “shipped” them, so to speak. Louis stroked Harry's curls and held him closer.  

"I think we're doing something good. It's a _really_ good thing, baby. I understand why you're worried. But I'm right here, yeah? We're doing this together," he added, kissing the boy's head one more time.  

Harry exhaled shakily and released Louis' sweater in favor of wrapping his arms around Louis' stomach. He began to calm down as Louis alternated between rubbing his back and massaging his head. Louis had such delicate hands that knew exactly where to caress to make Harry close his eyes and purr contentedly.  

"Mm...you're too nice," he mumbled. All of the anxiety he’d been holding began to melt away and the exhaustion that was left behind practically made him goo in Louis' arms. Promoting an album and going on tour was not something he was used to. Neither was coming out to the entire world or a global fan base.  

Louis was saying something above him but he didn't catch it. Despite his head feeling fuzzy with sleep, Harry managed to pull away from where he was tucked underneath Louis' chin.  

"What?" 

"I said that we only need to get through this interview and then I can initiate my Valentine's Day plan. You up for it?" Louis asked, waggling his eyebrows. Harry's eyes widened as he stared in surprise. 

"You didn't!" He gasped. 

Louis laughed and kissed Harry's nose. He nodded and proudly admitted, "I did. I cleared the rest of the day and tomorrow, too, just in case."  

Before Harry could push him against the backseat and kiss the living daylights out of him, the car pulled to a stop and their bodyguard Alberto announced from the front seat, "We're here."  

Harry pointed an accusing finger at Louis and whispered, "I'll get you later." Louis smiled at him smugly and tried his best not to laugh as he followed Harry out into the street and into the building.  

The interview went better than Harry or Louis expected it to go. The interviewer, a young woman with a thick French accent, asked them questions about their budding relationship and what life was like on the road. The majority of the questions were directed at Louis, which was perfectly fine for Harry since he was rather interested in Louis' answers.  

"And Louis...this question is for you. Quelle est la chose la plus romantique que vous ayez faite pour Harry? What is the most, um, romantic thing you have done for Harry?" The girl asked, reading the question from her notepad. Louis looked over at Harry to find him smiling bashfully, already knowing what Louis' answer would be.  

"Well, I can't cook and I once um...cooked a meal for Harry. First meal I ever cooked, I cooked chicken..." Louis brought his hands up in a gesture that only him and Harry knew, grinning as Harry followed along, "stuffed with mozzarella cheese and wrapped in parma ham, with some homemade mash potatoes. And it was alright. He said it tasted pretty good for my first meal."  

Harry hummed in agreement. Louis mimicked his noise and said, pretending to be offended, "What's that supposed to mean? I know you enjoyed it since you asked for seconds." Harry rolled his eyes at him and glanced at the interviewer. "For the record, it was a very good meal. But I don't think that's the most romantic thing he's ever done," he claimed.  

The interviewer raised her eyebrows in question, regarding Louis with a confused gaze. Louis noted Harry's smug grin and sighed, quickly catching on to the other boy's game. "Harry is trying to put me on the spot because I made some Valentine's Day plans for tonight and he wants a hint. I can't reveal what they are, though." He stuck his tongue out at the younger boy and added, "Sorry, love."  

The day before, Louis had overheard Harry talking to his mum on the phone about wanting to sightsee Paris without hordes of fans following them. So, after calling Anne himself and asking for help, Louis had arranged for a private tour of the Louvre once it was closed for the evening. Then, he went ahead and reserved _Le Jules Verne_ restaurant, opportunely located in the Eiffel Tower, to have dinner at later that night. It was clearly what any loving boyfriend would do for his beau on their first Valentine's Day.  

"Okay, last question for Harry..." The interviewer prompted awkwardly. She was clearly having enough of the fond gaze Louis was giving Harry. He couldn't really help it, not with Harry turned towards him and pouting cutely with a hand underneath his chin. Louis really wanted to give him a kiss. 

"Que pensez-vous de Louis? Harry, what do you think of Louis?"  

Louis giggled as Harry continued to study him, eyebrows furrowed while he pondered an adequate response. What did he think of Louis? Well, how much time did this girl have? Harry could've talked forever and ever but he needed to finish this interview and get Louis alone somewhere so he could kiss him. 

"What do I think of him?" 

"Yes, is he funny...or maybe adorable?"  

Harry laughed quietly at Louis' expression. He looked like he was silently pleading for Harry to hurry up and say something so they could leave. Harry continued to watch him fondly even as he answered the girl. "Um...I would describe him more as funny and handsome and rugged. A bit more manly."  

Louis laughed heartily at his answer, not even caring that Harry was bluffing. Louis was the farthest thing from manly and everyone knew it. "Thank you, thank you. Thank you, Dangerous Dave," Louis simpered, using a nickname that he gave Harry after a particular incident involving a failed blowjob happened and inevitably, led to Alberto avoiding them for weeks. Harry really needed to learn how to lock doors.  

Harry gawked at him, clearly taken off guard by the name. Louis could only smile sweetly as the boy turned as red as a tomato and mumbled unconvincingly, "I'll get you for that later."  

"Oh?" Louis replied. He tossed his head back and laughed as Harry covered his face in embarrassment. The poor interviewer stared at both of them, dumbfounded. Louis was more than grateful when Kate emerged from her seat behind the camera and announced that the interview was over. 

Both him and Harry have given their handlers and bodyguards a lot of trouble in the past five years, now that Louis thinks about it. Maybe he should send them some nice gift baskets as an apology. Kate and Alberto were more than helpful after Louis initiated his Valentine's Day plan, Alberto tagging along to keep them safe and Kate staying behind to arrange fan service with the rest of the boys. It was one of the best dates they'd ever had among the handfuls of other dates Louis' organized. He knew he was a really big sap. Harry told him he was simply a devoted boyfriend and it wasn't anything to hide, not now or ever again. Louis was pretty sure he only said that because he wanted the last piece of Louis' chocolate cake while they were eating at _Le Jules Verne._ Nonetheless, Louis gladly gave it to him and a nimble kiss, too. When they eventually made it outside after dinner to admire the view, Louis provided his gloves and beanie to Harry after he complained about the cold wind. Louis wanted to give Harry everything for the rest of his life, and so far, he had.  

Nothing could beat sharing a couple of kisses on the Eiffel Tower when no one else was around, really. 

Louis couldn't put into words how grateful he was for meeting Harry and the opportunity they'd both been given by being in the spotlight. After coming out, they'd gotten involved in speaking out against bullying and promoting better initiatives for homeless LGBTQ kids in shelters. Louis had a special place in his heart for all of the fans who created Rainbow Direction and designed endless fan projects and charities while they were on tour. He and Harry frequently donated to LGTBQ organizations and met with their management to discuss how funds that came from concert and album sales could be given to charity.  

One Direction had created something beautiful with their fans and it constantly took Louis' breath away whenever he thought about the depth of loyalty they shared. All of the doubt that Louis used to have about the future seems pointless now since he's got Harry, his family, and many beautiful supporters. 

Looking down at where Harry is still sound asleep on top of him, Louis smiles. Harry has some drool on his chin and it's getting all over Louis' t-shirt. It would definitely be gross if Louis wasn't so endeared and so, so in love. He wraps an arm around his boy and begins to stroke his long curls as he finishes reading the Buzzfeed article. 

 _Afterwards Munir explained the decision to come out to the leader of the US on live television: “It was something the president said about acting crazy, about how if you need to get a social issue across sometimes you just need to act a little crazy. At that moment I literally felt my pulse intensify and I thought, ‘I’ve been sitting on this issue for such a long time._ _I haven’t come out to my parents – sorry, Mum and Dad – and I just thought if anyone in the world is going to accept me for who I am then it’s the president of the United States. If anyone in the world has the power to change the situation for people like myself it is Barack Obama.”_  

 _The student told BuzzFeed News they expected their parents would be surprised by the news but they didn’t want to put a burden on them: “I feel bad because I’m so close to them but unfortunately we live in a society where people who want to make the worst out of you always will, and unfortunately people in my community would never have responded well to this news. I felt that if I told my parents it would almost be a burden on them because they would feel as though they would have to keep me a secret."_  

 _However, for Munir this was a risk worth taking._  

 _“I thought it’s now or never. Either I was going to come out now to the president of the United States or I was going to have to stay silent forever. If I can use this one little sacrifice and maybe become ostracized by my community then maybe I’ll be able to prevent other young people from being ostracized by their community.”_  

Disappointment swirls in Louis' chest when he's reminded of what he's wanted to do for about a year now.  

He's always striven to live his life as honestly as possible. Always. He didn't give a single fuck if people were offended at his sexuality, if someone laughed at the fact that he loved being in One Direction, or if someone was shitty enough to make fun of his appearance or his voice. Louis was proud of his life and everything he was.  

It shouldn't be a big deal if he wanted to come out as non-binary, then.  

Before One Direction went on hiatus and he officially completed his studies, Louis came to terms with the fact that he wasn't entirely a _man._ It had always made him uncomfortable when people were overly insistent on pointing out his flamboyance, or apparently, his lack of masculinity. The truth was, he was both. He enjoyed the feminine _and_ masculine aspects of his personality and identity. It only made sense to him that he'd never be comfortable within the strict binary that the world enforced so he sought to establish himself outside of it.  

Harry was the first person he had told, both of them kissing lazily in their hotel bed after a concert in Chicago last year. It was nearly midnight and afterwards, Louis explained that he wanted to talk more about it in the morning when they both weren't exhausted. Harry had kissed him gently all over his face until they both fell asleep, an unspoken agreement pressed between their close bodies.  

The next morning, they both woke up and headed to a nearby studio. They had a couple of tracks to finish recording with the rest of the boys before _Made in the AM_ was released and their tour was finished. Louis was sitting down with Harry and Zayn by the time afternoon arrived, trying his best to explain something that made perfect sense to him.  

“It's just - I've been both ways since I was young, yeah? If you think about it, they try to force you into these two boxes as soon as you’re born. My mum always encouraged me when I wanted to be feminine and being around all of my sisters growing up definitely made me feel like it was okay. But it was more than wearing makeup or whatever clothes I wanted. It's like, fuck, it's so hard to explain. It's something on the inside. It's who I am. Does that make any sense?”  

Harry and Zayn sat across from Louis in the studio, all of them hanging out after completing a few tracks with their producers and eating lunch. Louis really hoped that his words weren't being dumped into a metaphorical rubbish bin – he needed both men to see that this was something real. 

Zayn was the first to reply. “Yeah, it does. Because like, sometimes we expect things from people based on what's in their pants, but that doesn't make them entirely who they are. And some people decide to change themselves, yeah?” 

Louis nodded slowly. Maybe his words were getting somewhere. “Some people want to transition so they feel more comfortable in their bodies. I don't want to transition or change anything. I just…” He looked down at his hands, words trailing off into silence. He probably sounded like a lunatic right now. What if Harry and Zayn couldn't fully understand? What if they were laughing at him in their heads?  

“Lou,” Harry said softly. Louis looked up at him, tucking his hands under his thighs. Harry always had a way of saying his name that made all of his complicated feelings turn into something that closely resembled a warm blanket. Coupled with the tender look Harry was giving him, Louis began to feel slightly better. Harry didn't have to say the exact words for Louis' heart to know what was meant. _It's okay._  

“We love you, no matter what. We might not completely understand because this is something that only belongs to you, but you can be sure that you have our support. We want to try and understand," Harry affirmed, throwing an expectant glance to Zayn. Zayn nodded in agreement and added, "We do. We're always with you, Louis." 

Louis closed his eyes and took a deep breath, inhaling through his nose and exhaling shakily.  

This was harder than he thought it'd be.  

“You know how in the world, there are women and there are men?” Louis asked of the two. They both nodded.  

“You know how men are expected to be one thing, and women the other? Men are dominant and strong. Women are soft spoken and quiet, and they show their feelings easily. Obviously all of that is bullshit because there are men who show their feelings and women who are incredibly strong. There's these expectations, these two roles, and most of the time people try to fulfill one of them. But there are others who feel that they can fit into both of those roles, or not at all. There's a whole spectrum of what we feel like we are on the inside, of what our _gender_ is. Our _sex_ is completely different from what’s on the inside, and it may or may not influence what we identity as.”  

Louis shifted on the sofa as he spoke and was surprised to see that Harry and Zayn were still listening to him attentively. Maybe he was making sense, after all.  

“What I’m trying to say is that when I hear people calling me _man_ or _boy,_ it makes me uncomfortable because there's this connotation to it, you know? There's always something under the surface to how people perceive you, and I'm tired of people immediately shoving me into one box. I feel like I don't _fit_ into what the world expects of me, so that's why I’m non-binary.” He explained.  

Zayn asked hesitantly, “Is that what it’s called?” 

Louis nodded and brought his hands into his lap again, fiddling with his fingers. He was becoming less anxious about this conversation and more confident when Zayn and Harry appeared to be following along.  

“You have men and women, a gender binary that exists and is applied to everyone when they're born, but I don't fit in it. I’m _non-binary_. To be more specific, most of the time I feel like I'm both masculine and feminine and sometimes I don’t feel like either, yeah? It fluctuates and one morning I might wake up and paint my entire face - ” Zayn grinned as he remembered the week before when Louis had shown up to the studio with a full face of makeup, “or I might wake up one morning and want to go outside and play footie all day. Like I said, though, it's more than what I wear or what I do. I’m strong and loud and reserved and emotional and a lot of other things rolled into one. It’s who I am.” 

Zayn reached over to clasp Louis’ dainty hand in his own, smiling when Louis looked up and they made eye contact. “We love who you are, Lou. I think we understand better now,” he said, glancing over at Harry. The younger boy grinned at the two of them and stood up to sit next to Louis on his side of the couch, picking up Louis’ opposite hand and imitating what Zayn was doing.  

He kissed Louis gently on the cheek and whispered, “Thank you for telling us. Do you want to tell the others?”  

Louis knew he meant Niall and Liam. Maybe even his family. He shook his head and held on to each of their hands firmly. “No. Not now, at least. I’m kind of worried they won't get it.” 

Harry lifted his hand and kissed it in understanding. “Okay. Can I ask about anything else you're uncomfortable with? So we don't do anything wrong?” He asked. He looked uncertain, mouth turned down at the corners in slight worry. Maybe he was afraid he’d say something offensive but Louis felt so happy that he was asking out of genuine concern. 

Louis tilted his head down and thought for a moment. Harry could never do anything that would genuinely hurt him except maybe get a haircut. Louis loved Harry's long curls too much if he was being deeply honest with himself. 

“I don't like being described or seen as masculine, like, all the time. I know it's unavoidable, especially since I've only told you two, but I think most people have picked up that I have a feminine side also? I don't give a fuck about how people perceive me, of course, but I want to be respected for who I am. I'm not a man, that's not my gender. I'm both masculine and feminine and non-binary, and in the event that I do decide to come out to more people, I'd like them to recognize that."  

"What about pronouns?" Zayn questioned.  

"I'm fine with any pronouns, to be completely honest. It makes no difference to me," Louis answered. Harry kissed him on the cheek again and murmured, "Okay." Louis couldn't help but laugh a little because both men were still sitting with him when he thought they would have left a long time ago.  

"What?" Zayn wondered, laughing with him. Louis shook his head and wrapped both of them tightly in his arms, probably cutting off their air supply but he didn't care. He didn't care because he was so fucking happy. "Thank you. I love you both," he sniffled. Zayn rubbed his back with one hand and Harry did the same with his shoulder. It was comforting and honest and the realization that both men accepted him for who he was caused him to start crying.  

"Shit," he mumbled, trying to wipe away his tears. He hid his face in the crook of Harry's neck while Zayn continued to rub his back in comfort. Louis hadn't realized how big of a deal this was to him since he'd been keeping it to himself until he knew a name for it.  

"Hey, Louis?" Zayn murmured after a minute or two. 

Louis used Harry's t-shirt to try and wipe away the tears that were falling swiftly down his face. He didn't like to cry in front of anyone except Harry but it was more difficult to control the tears when they were happy ones. He pulled away from the warmth of Harry's neck and wiped his face quickly. It was a good thing he hadn't had the energy to put on any makeup that morning. "Yeah?" 

"I think this is a good time to tell you this, also since Harry is here. Um. Have you ever heard of someone being aro? Like, aromantic?" Zayn asked, stroking his neck uncertainly. His gaze fell to the floor.  

"Yes! Z, are you...?" Louis answered excitedly, grabbing his arm.  

Zayn nodded, looking up with a small smile plastered on his face.  

"That's great, Zayn," Harry acknowledged. He reached around Louis to squeeze Zayn's other arm gently. "I didn't know everyone was coming out today," he giggled. Louis rolled his eyes and turned around to pinch Harry’s thigh. Harry swatted Louis’ nimble fingers away before any real damage could be done.  

Zayn laughed lightly and shrugged. "I figured I might as well, especially since Louis did. But I also wanted to tell you that both Niall and Liam know, so, if you're afraid that they won't understand…well, I think they will. They actually know a lot about the community. I sort of gave them a crash course a couple of weeks ago because they were interested. I think they're trying to figure out some things for themselves, too,” he explained. 

It actually made a lot of sense when Louis thought about it. Niall had approached him a couple of weeks beforehand at their venue in Kansas City. He wanted to know how to spot Rainbow Direction participants during shows and what Louis usually did when they came to meet and greets. Louis didn't think much of it and simply told him to look out for rainbow hearts or rainbow flags. As for Liam, Louis had heard a rumor that he was seeing some bloke that played on a football team… 

Harry said the words before Louis had the chance to open his mouth. 

“Wait, so none of us are heterosexual?”  

Harry looked between Zayn and Louis, one arm wrapped comfortably around Louis’ waist and the other resting on the back of the sofa. Louis didn't remember Harry putting his arm around him. That was probably typical when you dated someone for what seemed like a lifetime.  

Zayn shook his head, eyes crinkled in amusement. “No, I don't think so…I'm definitely not. I'm not sure about Niall.”  

Harry scooted closer and rested his chin on Louis’ shoulder. He began to stroke Louis’ stomach absentmindedly as he talked to Zayn in a hushed tone. “I'm not sure, either. He hasn't dated anyone in a long time, has he? There was that one girl…” 

Louis closed his eyes and leaned into Harry’s chest as both men discussed Niall’s interesting love life and where, or rather _who,_ Liam was sneaking around to lately. Louis couldn't care less about what the boys did but Harry and Zayn had the inclination to gossip sometimes. It was a boring habit. Louis always fell asleep when they indulged themselves.  

That was nearly a year ago. One Direction went on to release their fifth album and their hiatus commenced before the new year began. Louis completed his studies and came to the conclusion that he couldn't wait around anymore.  

It was the ideal time to come out. He knew it was.  

Now, laying in bed with Harry mumbling incoherently on top of him, Louis thinks about why he's waited for almost a year. The first thing that comes to the forefront of his mind isn't trepidation, surprisingly. He hasn't been scared at all. He's actually felt restless with the need to do _something_ that would enable him to feel more gratified with others. During tour, he always put his attention and focus on the LGBTQ fans because they were his priority but it didn't feel like anything he said or did was enough. He wanted to do something that would benefit the fans directly. Fear had never crossed his mind once and as Munir had said in the Buzzfeed article, it was a risk worth taking. Louis knew there were non-binary fans in the audience of every show they had and although he couldn't see them, he loved them with his entire heart.  

Louis wanted them to know that. He had only been waiting for the right moment.  

So whereas he feels that coming out wouldn't be a huge deal for himself, Louis knows that it could make a tremendous difference for someone who is coming to terms with their own identity. If there's anything in the world that makes him absolutely content, it's bringing happiness to others. And he won't hesitate to do that for someone who needs it.  

Louis exits the Facebook app and turns off his phone, reaching over Harry's abnormally broad shoulders to set it on the nightstand. He maneuvers his body down into the bedspread so he's laying completely flat with Harry on top of him. He sighs quietly and tucks his arms behind his head.

The room is completely silent except for the sound of Harry's breathing and the faint hum of a plane flying in the distance. Louis stares at their bedroom ceiling in the darkness, counting all of the glow-in-the-dark stars Harry had tacked there awhile ago. Tomorrow afternoon, he'll make a phone call to Kate and let her know what his plan is. He and Harry have already been invited to a charity luncheon for LGBTQ artists at Carondelet House as a way to celebrate Pride Month. Louis had initially decided not to go in favor of staying home the entire weekend with Harry and fixing up their garden. Yet, the more time he spends thinking about it, he knows it's the perfect opportunity. There'll be interviews, a couple of performances, and most likely friends of theirs attending. Free food doesn't hurt, either.  

Louis closes his eyes and rolls onto his side, Harry moving naturally with him and nudging backwards into the warmth of Louis' bare chest. He holds his boy close while kissing into his curls, sliding his hand gently up and down Harry's muscled arm and visualizing the ink hidden there in the dark. He knows Harry's body like it's his own - he traces the spot where he knows Harry's rose tattoo is, his own dagger resting on top of it. Louis pulls his hand away and caresses the bare skin of Harry's back, tracing words and _I love you's_ into every piece of skin there that he knows intimately. Harry mumbles his name in his sleep and Louis smiles, so acutely familiar with that deep voice that he'd recognize it anywhere. 

Before sleep takes him to join Harry in whatever realm he's in, a thought crosses Louis' mind. Tomorrow people might view him differently for better or worse. It won't be the same as coming out as gay to a handful of strangers. The fans know him and have admired him for five years. He only hopes that they come to recognize how much he loves them, too, and wants them to feel accepted.  

That's all Louis has ever wanted for any of them. They've accepted him over and over again in a million different ways. He and Harry have never felt so _entirely_ safe and loved than the moments they've found themselves performing to an audience, a thousand different voices singing the same song back to them. 

 _When you're lost, I'll find the way. I'll be your light. You'll never feel like you're alone._  

 _I'll make this feel like home._  

They're a family. A family that Louis isn't sure how he managed to find in this unpredictable world but nonetheless, he found them and he also found Harry. It's better than anything he can conjure up in his dreams once he rests his dagger on Harry's rose again and falls asleep, holding the younger man securely to his own body. 

*

"You should wear the other shirt."  

Louis sighs from where he's standing topless in the middle of his and Harry's spacious bedroom closet. He peeks his head around the door frame, holding a mountain of t-shirts. Harry is lounging on their bed and scrolling through Instagram, most likely. He resembles a figure from a Renaissance painting with the red long-sleeved blouse he has on, curls framing his face elegantly. His legs hang off the edge of the bed, clad in tight black skinnies with a pair of his usual Chelsea boots to match. Louis would be giving him major heart eyes if he wasn't already in distress about his own outfit and the fact that they're running very late for the luncheon. 

"Which one? I'm holding every fucking shirt I have," Louis grumbles.  

Harry looks up from his phone and frowns, beckoning for Louis to come closer to the bed. Louis shuffles over and dumps all of his t-shirts on the duvet. He watches in silence as his boyfriend begins to sort through all of the pieces of clothing, plucking one out after a minute.  

Harry holds it up. "One of my favorites," he says, smiling.  

It's one of Louis' favorites, too. He has many articles of clothing with rainbows on them but the particular shirt that Harry is holding is special. It was the first rainbow shirt he had decided to wear on stage after Rainbow Direction had no participants in Chile during their Where We Are tour. Harry had bought it for him, knowing it was definitely his style and such. 

"I was going to wear that one for Pride but I guess I can choose something else. Give it here, then. Which shoes?" Louis asks, taking the shirt from Harry and slipping it on. He gives Harry a quick peck on the cheek and goes to their organized shoe shelves. 

"Maybe the red Vans? So we match..." Louis whispers to himself, pulling the shoes off the shelf once he finds them. 

"Wear your red Vans so we're matching," Harry calls from his place on the bed, already scrolling through his phone again. Louis rolls his eyes and chuckles quietly. Harry is most definitely the only person in the world that's on the same wavelength as him. 

"Great idea, love," he mumbles. He sits down on the edge of the bed and pulls them on, bending over to tie the laces and tuck them into his shoes. He doesn't jump when the mattress dips behind him and a large pair of hands sneak their way across his chest.

Harry places a tender kiss on the back of his neck and whispers in his ear, "Don't worry."  

Louis turns slightly to look at him from the corner of his eye. Harry has a huge smile on his face, eyes bright and dimples popping out. Louis is helpless when his own mouth turns up at the corners.  

"I'm not. I feel good," he replies. He places a hand over the one Harry has on his chest, squeezing gently. He'd told Harry about his plan once they'd woken up and he called Kate. Harry had practically dragged him into the shower afterwards once he saw the time, but Louis could tell that he was also filled with excitement. Louis was doing something important today and it didn't involve cleaning up their garden. 

"Promise?" Harry asks. He kisses behind Louis' ear this time, causing the other man to giggle at the sensation. Louis turns around completely then so he can see Harry's face. "Hazza, I promise. I can't guarantee we'll leave the house anytime soon if you continue talking in my ear like that, though," he laughs, rubbing the sensitive skin at the nape of his neck. He can still feel Harry's warm breath there and it's not entirely unpleasant. 

Harry leans forward suddenly and kisses him easily on the mouth. Louis instinctively melts into the touch, shutting his eyes and reaching up to hold Harry's face in his hands. Harry pulls away after a minute and rests his forehead on Louis'. 

"I just want you to know how proud I am," he whispers. He plants another kiss on the corner of Louis' parted mouth before taking Louis' hands away from his face and holding them in his own. "You've done so much for everyone. For me, too. I'm more than proud to call you my boyfriend." 

Louis grins and looks down at their joined hands. He knows he's blushing like mad but he can't help it. Harry makes him feel so many things at once.

Harry lifts his delicate hands up and kisses each one, tenderness spilling from his lips and spreading all over Louis' body like warm light. "I love you, Louis," he says softly. 

Louis huffs out a laugh before he's tackling Harry backwards into the bed, kissing his boy everywhere on his giggling face. "The feeling is mutual, you sap," he snickers, wrapping Harry's body in his own. Harry hugs him back as their laughter dies down.

"I love you, too," Louis whispers eventually into Harry's warm skin, his own heart beating steadily in tandem with the younger man's. He kisses Harry lovingly on the side of his head, his cheek, and finally the corner of his mouth. Louis can sense him smiling against his own shoulder as he settles between Harry's neck and collarbone.

After several minutes of cuddling and breathing each other's scent, Harry begins to squirm from where he's underneath Louis.  

"Lou, we're so late. All of that LA traffic..." he whines. Louis pulls back to look down at him, eyebrows raised.  

"Who's fault is that, Harry?" He wonders. Harry tickles his sides until Louis yelps and hastily climbs off the bed, Harry hugging him from behind and kissing the back of his neck again once they're both standing up. He leads Louis downstairs as they both of them grab their things before heading for the garage.  

Neither of them stop smiling once they climb in their car and leave their gated community, singing along to the radio as they head for Carondelet House.  

* 

Louis didn't expect it to happen so quickly.  

After giving their car to the valet and entering the building, Harry had wandered off to locate the room where the food was being served. Louis stuck around the main room to watch Augustana perform, idly looking around at all of the celebrities and artists littered across the floor. 

A nudge at his shoulder breaks him out of his thoughts.  

"Kate!" Louis says warmly, pulling the short woman into a quick hug. She rubs his back and attempts to keep her glass of wine out of the way. "It's nice to see you, love," he remarks.  

"Likewise. Where's Harry?" She asks, looking around the room. Louis follows her gaze. "He was hungry, went to find something to eat."  

Kate nods and motions for Louis to follow her out of the noisy room, leading him down a corridor to a semi-crowded room at the end. They both stand outside the open door as Louis peeks inside. 

"They're interviewing artists in there for a couple of live Pride podcasts they're doing. I told them you were here and they're very excited. So, you can go in whenever you'd like," she explains. Louis smiles and gathers her into another hug, whispering, "Thank you. You're the best."  

Kate pats his cheek and begins to fix his hair once he pulls away. She smiles fondly at him as she tidies him up. "I know I am. But so are you. Go do your thing," she responds. Louis laughs once she's done and readily pushing him into the lively suite.  

Ten minutes later, Louis is sitting next to a lad named John while a small crowd stands in the room, watching the conversation with interest. They've both got microphones in their hands and there's one photographer taking pictures near the front. Louis listens patiently as John reads something from his iPhone.  

"So if you're just joining us right now, we've got Louis Tomlinson from One Direction with us today. Louis, how are you enjoying the True Colors Fund luncheon?" 

"It's lovely so far. I had the chance to watch some artists perform but unfortunately, I haven't tried any of the food yet. My boyfriend Harry is here, though, and he's most likely stuffing his face right now," Louis answers. A couple of people in the room laugh.  

"You brought Mr. Styles?" 

Louis nods and says, completely serious, "If anyone sees him, please tell him to save me something to eat."  

John chuckles at that. "As most of us know, One Direction went on hiatus back in December of last year. How has your break been so far? Do you miss being on tour and performing?" He asks.  

"We definitely miss it. After doing it for five years, it kind of becomes a huge part of you. It was strange at first because we had a lot of free time on our hands but it's important to take breaks. We've needed to focus on ourselves so we can come back better than we were before," Louis explains.  

"Do you ever worry that it'll become tiresome? There are so many artists who say, you know, I can't do this anymore because it doesn't make me happy," John says. Louis shakes his head and fights the urge to roll his eyes because _no,_  he fucking loves his life and he loves being in One Direction. He decides to bite his tongue and say something more tame instead. 

"At the end of the day, I'm doing something that I love. I'm in a band, I sing and the thing that comes with that...I can help charities, I can help people. That is, by far, one of the best things of the job because you can really make a difference on other people's lives for really not much effort of your own," he clarifies. John nods thoughtfully at his answer.  

"What has it meant for you, personally, to be in One Direction since you came out nearly five years ago? Being a member of such a well-known band, and having a partner who is also in that band, really gives you a grounded platform to spread awareness for the LGBTQ community," John says.  

Louis nods before speaking. "It's something really special. We have a large number of LGBTQ fans and they come to our shows, they create groups like Rainbow Direction, and they continue to be so supportive. Even before One Direction was formed, I always thought about how I identify. I can say now that I feel very non-binary, and I identify as gay and non-binary. Five years ago, I didn't know anyone that was non-binary and there weren't many young adults in the music industry that were gay. I just feel so excited and encouraged by how many artists are talking about these other identities and what it means to, you know, experience that, and live those lives, and put it into their art. That's what I find really inspiring and amazing about the artists here today and all the others that are bringing things to light through their medium."  

Louis takes a deep breath once he's finished talking. Okay, that went well. He's looking around the room when he sees Harry standing by the doorway, sending a cute wave and a thumbs up once Louis spots him. Louis winks at him and nearly misses the moment when John continues talking to him.  

"That's fantastic, Louis. Well, I can see Mr. Styles from where I'm sitting so we'll let you two lovebirds enjoy the rest of your afternoon. Thank you so much for sitting with us and I think I speak for all of your fans when I say we hope you enjoy the rest of your break," he says, smiling. Louis shakes his hand and gives his own microphone to an assistant before he practically skips across the room to Harry.  

"How long were you standing there?" Louis questions. Harry leads him out of the room with a hand on his lower back, shrugging nonchalantly. "Doesn't matter," he murmurs. He guides Louis down the corridor towards the main room where a different band has set up on stage. Harry kisses him gently on the mouth when no one is looking and whispers to him about how great he did during the interview. Louis is more than glad that no one witnesses how deeply he blushes at Harry's words. 

After watching several groups perform and making numerous trips to the banquet table to hoard food, Louis decides it's time to leave. He wants to go home and spend the rest of his weekend cuddling with Harry. When Louis asks if he feels like leaving, Harry nods and follows him around the room while they say their goodbyes. 

As they wait outside for the valet to bring their car around, Louis notices several black cars parked on the opposite of the street. He watches as multiple paps get out and cross the road, walking closer to where Louis is standing with Harry behind him. They begin to take pictures and Louis is so surprised by the loud clicks and flashes that he doesn't comprehend what they're shouting at him.  

"Louis, what made you want to come out as non-binary?" 

"What do you think of being the number one trending topic online?" 

"Did you see the message Olly Alexander from Years and Years wrote to you? Hey, Louis!"  

Louis climbs into the passenger seat as the valet brings their car around. Harry gives the guy a tip before he clambers into the drivers seat and pulls out into the road.  

"What the fuck was that?" Louis asks, watching as the paps get farther away from them. He pulls his iPhone out of his pocket and quickly opens Twitter, expecting things to be normal as usual. His mouth drops open when he sees his timeline.  

"What?" Harry asks, gaze shifting from Louis' expression to the highway. "Louis, what?" He repeats.  

"I think they found out..." Louis says slowly. He opens the trending topics on Twitter and laughs, caught by surprise, when he sees his name at the top of the list. 

 _#_ _WeLoveYouLouis_ _– 505.8K Tweets_  

Louis scrolls through all of the tweets, or at least as many as he can, before Harry is taking the exit to their house and pulling up to their gate. He enters the gate code and drives up the street, pulling into their driveway. Louis is still going through all of the lovely messages when the car shuts off.  

"Who found out what?" Harry murmurs, craning his head to see Louis' phone screen.  

Louis hands him his phone as he gets out of the car. Harry gets out also, scrolling through Louis' timeline as he walks around the vehicle. They both walk slowly to their front door, Louis looking over Harry's shoulder to see his phone screen.  

"Wow," Harry breathes.  

"Wow, indeed," Louis responds. He unlocks the front door and leads Harry in, closing it behind them.  

Louis goes to the living room and topples onto the sofa, kicking his Vans off. Harry joins him and continues to scroll through Louis' phone as he takes his own boots off.  

"They're saying they love you," Harry tells him. He climbs into Louis' lap and Louis automatically wraps his arms around his stomach, peeking over Harry's head to see the messages.  

"It looks like they were all listening to the interview while it was streaming. Olly wrote something really nice to you and everyone's retweeting it..." Harry says. "Oh! Lottie, Fizzy, and Gemma sent you some sweet messages, also," he adds, smiling.  

"Fuck, I'm going to cry," Louis quips. He can feel the tears forming and despite his attempt at making a joke out of it, the tears definitely begin to fall. Louis rests his forehead on Harry's shoulder and breathes deeply. 

Harry shifts around so he can see Louis. "Hey. It's okay, boo," he says gently, wiping Louis' tears away. He pecks Louis on the cheek and grins. "I love you," he murmurs, continuing to kiss Louis all over his face.  

God, Louis wishes he could stop crying. Harry is inadvertently making it worse and better at the same time.  

"I love you, too," Louis whispers back to him, sniffling and wiping his own face. Coming out is something intimately familiar to him. The crying really isn't necessary, he tells himself. 

Afterwards, when the tears are gone and Louis' answered a short phone call from his mum, he and Harry settle into the sofa and go through some of the tweets and messages. They favorite and reply to as many as they can, their faces beginning to ache from all of the laughing and smiling they're doing. When the sun disappears outside, Harry cooks dinner and Louis sits at their kitchen island, continuing to read some tweets out loud. Louis washes the dishes and puts them away when they're done, Harry reading from his phone.  

Louis picks his boy up and takes him upstairs, laughing when Harry pulls his shirt and squawks as Louis lands on top of him on their bed. Louis moves and settles next to him, one hand propped up under his chin.  

"Want to read more?" Harry asks quietly, his face illuminated in the dimness of the bedroom. He's still scrolling through all of the endless messages. Louis shakes his head and takes the phone from him.  

"But they're so sweet," Harry says, disappointed. He flips over on his side so Louis can only view his broad back. Louis rolls his eyes and whispers, "You're sweeter, though."  

Harry's shoulders shake from his giggles. Louis scoots up behind him and pulls him into his chest, Harry going easily as his little spoon. "Tomorrow, okay?" Louis murmurs, kissing into his curls. Harry hums in response, too dazed to form coherent words as Louis brushes his hair away and kisses down his neck.  

There's only one image in the back of Louis' mind as he cherishes Harry, kissing him everywhere until they're breathless. One word that describes his life. One song that defines his love for Harry and for their fans.  

 _Home._  


End file.
